When we think about ‘soft skills’, we can sometimes think pink, fluffy and perhaps not quite as serious as the ‘real’ business stuff.
But, the reality is it’s often the soft skills that get the hard results – and for good reason.
Yes, strategy, systems, and technical competence all matter. But ultimately, leaders are the driving force behind getting things done, and they do that through people.
And people require something very different from a spreadsheet or strategic document.
They require leaders with soft skills.
So, what are soft skills in leadership and how do you develop them?
What are the soft skills of leadership?
Let’s start by answering the key question, ‘What are leadership soft skills?’
There are plenty, but here are some that we believe matter most.
Human connection
At Drew Povey Consultancy, one of our fundamental beliefs is simple.
Business is about people. People are about relationships. And relationships are about emotions.
Leadership isn’t just an intellectual or technical exercise, it’s a deeply human one. Effective leaders can form a human connection that make people feel seen, heard, understood, valued, and connected.
The ability to understand and work with those human needs is therefore central to driving performance. It isn’t an optional extra or something that sits around the edge of leadership.
It’s at the very heart of it.
Communication
Communication is much more than being a good speaker, it’s the ability to make the complex clear.
Great leaders listen, question, explain, simplify and adapt their message to different people. Because communication isn’t simply about what you say- it’s about what the other person hears and understands
When people connect with what they’re hearing, they gain the clarity and confidence they need to move forwards productively.
Listening deeply
Listening is perhaps one of the most underrated leadership skills.
We often associate leaders with having all the answers. But sometimes leadership is about asking the right questions and then taking the time to listen to the answers.
To become a great listener, leaders need to speak as if they’re right, and listen as if they’re wrong. There’s a big difference between listening to understand and simply waiting for your turn to speak. When people know you’re genuinely listening, they know their contribution matters.
Emotional intelligence
Many people mistakenly believe that emotional intelligence is simply about being able to ‘read the room’
But before you can ever read the room accurately, you need to be able to read yourself.
Leaders need to be able to ask themselves a series of essential questions such as: What am I feeling? How is this going to affect my behaviour? and What impact is my behaviour having on everyone else’
Taking a moment to identify and understand those emotions allows leaders to connect how they’re feeling with how they might behave. And this creates the opportunity to respond rather than react. That small difference can make an enormous difference.
Empathy
Sometimes, showing empathy can be confused with leaders being too soft or lowering their standards but in reality, it’s neither.
Some of the best leaders combine empathy alongside accountability to help them understand someone else’s point of view without necessarily agreeing with it.
In fact, properly understanding another person’s perspective often gives leaders a much better chance of influencing them more effectively. Empathy does not mean removing accountability.
Great leadership often requires both.
Adaptability
There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to leadership because no two people are the same. Leaders need adaptability (or lots of tools in their toolbox) to ensure they can support people in the right way.
Sometimes people need a challenge. Sometimes they need encouragement. At other times they might require space, supoort or clear direction. Truly great leaders develop the flexibility to recognise what an individual needs in that moment.
Relationship building
If strong leadership depends on strong relationships, then the ability to build positive and sustainable relationships is essential.
Great leaders understand that relationships run on trust, which is why they focus on building these connections through consistency, honesty, reliability, vulnerability and by simply ensuring their actions align with their words.
Investing time and effort into relationship building also gives leaders greater freedom to have more honest conversations with their partners, investors, customers and colleagues.
Because when trust is high, conversations can be more open.
This freedom to speak frankly is particularly vital during times of crisis.
How can soft skills be developed to make you a better leader?
Unsure how to develop soft skills in leadership? Start with honing your ability to influence others because many of those soft skills are ultimately influencing skills.
Listening helps us understand. Empathy builds connection. Communication creates clarity. Emotional intelligence helps us to respond appropriately. Relationship building creates trust and gives people a reason to follow.
Combining these soft skills creates the ideal conditions for strengthening your influence and therefore supports far more effective leadership.
Rebranding soft skills
There are many more so-called soft skills that we haven’t touched on here, including curiosity, storytelling, negotiation and collaboration, to name just a few.
But there’s something important to remember about all of them.
They are skills.
That means they can be learnt, practised, coached, and – crucially – improved upon.
And, despite the slightly misleading name (there’s really nothing soft about navigating conflict, giving difficult feedback, or understanding another human being), they certainly all require practice.
Rather than sitting around the edges of leadership, soft skills are at the very heart of it. Because when leadership gets hard, they’re the skills we need most.
Start your journey to becoming a better leader
Unsure where to start when it comes to building leadership soft skills? Or maybe you’re a high-performing executive looking to grow your success even further.
Drew Povey Consultancy provides tailored leadership coaching – either on a 1:1, team, or keynote delivery basis.
To discuss your specific leadership coaching requirements in more detail, please don’t hesitate to get in touch using our convenient online contact form.